Western Union sends its regrets

February 4th, 2006

Last time I checked, Western Union was still delivering telegrams, albeit with the distinct air of just going through the motions.

But no more: The final telegrams were dispatched on Jan. 27, 2006.

“Discontinuing this service completes our transformation into a financial services company.”

Those are the words of Victor Chayet. Mr. Chayet, who is not the chairman of General Motors, is a PR guy at what remains of Western Union.

If this news disturbs you, take heart: AOL just revealed a plan to charge postage fees for delivering e-mail.

Humanity, sure

October 16th, 2005

I took some test/ Says I’m an Existentialist

Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense.

What humans could accomplish.

Narrow your search

September 29th, 2005

The new search engine Rollyo allows you to search your own hand-picked list of reliable sites (or unreliable sites, if you’re a deadbeat in search of community).

I’ve wanted just this sort of filtering tool—a “trusted sources” search—for a very long time. I can hardly wait for the promised bookmark-import feature.

First Wonder Showzen got renewed, then this. This century does have its moments.


Related:

The Very Unofficial Wonder Showzen Site

(Via boingboing)

Target retains last vestige of its department store heritage

September 20th, 2005

Marshall Field's State St. store, from Target Corp. web siteLetting go is hard.

On the web site of Target Corp.—the former Dayton-Hudson Corp.—you can still find a Flash presentation promoting Marshall Field’s flagship on Chicago’s State Street. (One year and two owners ago, Field’s was owned by Target Corp.)

Shop at Behemoth’s

September 20th, 2005

The Marshall Field’s brand name will be thrown in the trash, as new owner Federated Department Stores announced today that the stores will take the Macy’s name.

Marshall Field's logoShoppers “will continue to benefit from regional buying that remains attuned to local preferences and lifestyles, plus enjoy the distinctive merchandise and shopping experience that’s part of the Macy’s brand,” Federated Chairman Terry J. Lundgren said.

Don’t you just feel goose pimples? I trust the shopping “experience” will be as “distinctive” as the tired, dated Macy’s logo.

Macy's logoWhile Chicagoans are understandably sickened, Minneapolis has been through this already. Dayton’s we cared about, but now it hardly matters. Why not drop all the old family names? Call Macy’s “Federated Price Point 1″ and Bloomingdale’s “Federated Price Point 2.”

By robbing the last bit of romance from the ritual of shopping, Federated reminds consumers that stores are just stores. Thank you, Federated, for dispelling an illusion—one that never served us well anyway.

Comic-book romance

September 19th, 2005

How We Got Engaged! By Dave Roman and Raina TelgemeierWhen people fall in love, they should tell the world.

When two cartoonists fall in love, they should tell the world in their own way.

(Via waxy.org)

After Katrina, a very dark time. And then?

September 7th, 2005

What does Katrina, and its aftermath, look like from South Africa?

Horror travels surprisingly well, it seems. People here are stunned by it, of course, as they are everywhere, and far too many South Africans remain, even today, conversant with despair; though this tongue, they would have thought, is but rarely spoken in America. (When South Africa’s ETV recently reported, in a CNN-style bottom-of-screen headline scroll, the continuing increase in the number of poor Americans, the word “poverty” was enclosed in quotes.) I’m not sure I can understand this disaster from this distance. To understand what it means to anyone who has lost a home, a livelihood, a loved one, a city, one would have to go to New Orleans. But to understand what it means to the soul (”soul”?) of America, one must watch American TV, probably. So perhaps I cannot understand; though I shall try.

As I write, at the top of the LA Times “most e-mailed stories” list is a Robert Scheer column, The real costs of a culture of greed:

Instead of the much-celebrated American can-do machine that promises to bring freedom and prosperity to less fortunate people abroad, we have seen a callous official incompetence that puts even Third World rulers to shame. The well-reported litany of mistakes by the Bush administration in failing to prevent and respond to Katrina’s destruction grew longer with each hour’s grim revelation from the streets of an apocalyptic New Orleans.

Yet the problem is much deeper. For half a century, free-market purists have to great effect denigrated the essential role that modern government performs as some terrible liberal plot. Thus, the symbolism of New Orleans’ flooding is tragically apt: Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal and Louisiana Gov. Huey Long’s ambitious populist reforms in the 1930s eased Louisiana out of feudalism and toward modernity; the Reagan Revolution and the callousness of both Bush administrations have sent them back toward the abyss.

We find ourselves at a moment when shame, and shaming, has deep resonance. But this raging bitterness that inflicts our nation (or can it be only half of it? Still?)—what is to be done with it? Even David Brooks, who maintained an amazingly determined optimism right on into the second term of a cynical administration whose incompetence defies belief, sees that we’re in a dark time:

The scrapbook of history accords but a few pages to each decade, and it is already clear that the pages devoted to this one will be grisly. There will be pictures of bodies falling from the twin towers, beheaded kidnapping victims in Iraq and corpses still floating in the waterways of New Orleans five days after the disaster that caused them.

It’s already clear this will be known as the grueling decade, the Hobbesian decade. Americans have had to acknowledge dark realities that it is not in our nature to readily acknowledge: the thin veneer of civilization, the elemental violence in human nature, the lurking ferocity of the environment, the limitations on what we can plan and know, the cumbersome reactions of bureaucracies, the uncertain progress good makes over evil.

What’s more, Brooks does not believe this will simply blow over:

Katrina means that the political culture, already sour and bloody-minded in many quarters, will shift. There will be a reaction. There will be more impatience for something new. There is going to be some sort of big bang as people respond to the cumulative blows of bad events and try to fundamentally change the way things are.

Reaganite conservatism was the response to the pessimism and feebleness of the 1970’s. Maybe this time there will be a progressive resurgence. Maybe we are entering an age of hardheaded law and order. (Rudy Giuliani, an unlikely G.O.P. nominee a few months ago, could now win in a walk.) Maybe there will be call for McCainist patriotism and nonpartisan independence. All we can be sure of is that the political culture is about to undergo some big change.

If our official culture has succumbed to greed, many ordinary Americans, opening their wallets and even their homes to provide relief to desperate strangers, have not. New Orleans will be rebuilt, but we must not stop there.

Ira Glass explicates empathy, then hangs up on you

August 27th, 2005

Ira Glass of public radio’s This American Life hangs up on reporters. But only, in this Columbia Journalism Review interview, to parody Robert Novak—and it’s all in fun, fun of the sincere kind that we’ve come to expect of Glass.

Glass fascinates at least three separate times in this piece. First, as he reflects on his pending TV deal:

Glass: Just from making this little pilot, I feel like there are characters who come off better on the radio than they do on the TV, and then there are some characters who come off better on the TV than they come off on the radio—simply by virtue of seeing their face….

Reporter: But isn’t there something about not seeing someone’s face, on the radio, that allows you to sort of project a lot into whatever you’re hearing? On TV, I don’t know, I just feel like a little of the mystery just disappears.

Glass: No, that definitely is true. It’s easier to make someone in the audience love someone on the radio. It’s just easier, because the number of factors you’re dealing with are fewer. You can do it on TV, but you just have to be careful how you handle it. On the radio, because you don’t see the person, you empathize. It’s easy to imagine yourself as them really, really quickly. Whereas on the television, from the get-go they are somebody else, and you have to kind of build up a different sort of bond with them. You can have a very fond feeling for them on the TV, but the first fact you know about them is they are not you, whereas on the radio, they appear to you for the first time as a voice in your head.

Flipping a mattress, but leaving nothing to chance

August 19th, 2005

An insomniac obsessive goes in search of the perfect mattress-flipping algorithm.

If you’re just counting sheep, you’re not thinking hard enough.

Ice cream for dogs (a warning sign)

August 18th, 2005

Frosty Paws, the ice cream for dogsIce cream for dogs is now the most profitable product line for America’s biggest ice cream company.

Q. When my society becomes decadent, how will I know?

A. People will keep saying things like: “We did some studies and found that all dogs love peanut butter;” and, furthermore, will regard such utterances as perfectly normal.

Meat to be grown in labs, if science keeps messing with stuff

August 13th, 2005

Advances in tissue engineering could lead to meat grown in a lab, not raised on a farm, the BBC reports.

“With a single cell, you could theoretically produce the world’s annual meat supply,” said Jason Matheny of the University of Maryland. “And you could do it in a way that’s better for the environment and human health.”

Thankfully, the idea is trouble-free in every way.

The joy of lard

August 13th, 2005

Who doesn’t like olive oil? Dip everything in it, you’ll live forever, no problem at all. Except for the small matter of horrible, $8 french fries.

What we do know is that trans fat has got to go. The FDA says so. New York’s health commissioner says so, this week urging restauranteurs to make the switch to healthier fats. We’re not supposed to merely cut back, either: no level of trans fat in the diet is healthy.

What are we to do, go back to lard? Hmm, lard. You see the boxes in the supermarket sometimes, looking forlorn. Lard, I think, and roll my eyes. It’s underpackaged—in capital letters, no less: LARD. Can’t they even think of something else to call it? Who would ever buy that?

I just assumed it was something supermarkets are required to carry, for backward compatibility. Once a year, a new carton arrives, and every one of last year’s boxes, unsold, is heaved into the Dumpster. They might as well sell it to old, old women via mail order, like Ralston. (Did you know that Ralston and Purina broke up? A while back. Tragic, really.) But then, who wants a mailbox full of lard?

Pity poor lard, an anachronism, forgotten, unloved. Unloved by everyone but Corby Kummer, that is.

I recently got lucky at the wonderfully antiquated LeJeune’s Bakery in Jeanerette, La. LeJeune’s is famous for its French bread, which in Louisiana means a puffy white loaf particularly suited to muffalettas - the Louisiana version of the hero sandwich whose bread is soaked with olive salad and layered with provolone and meats like salami and ham. I wasn’t surprised to hear the secret of LeJeune’s exceptional flavor and soft but pliant crumb, but I was delighted: lard. The baker proudly led me to a tub of golden lard he had bought from the farm down the road. I was looking at a tub of joy.

Um, OK.

Granted, a blind taste test might confound, indeed devour, my gut reaction. What’s more, we must consider the numbers:

I have a suggestion for those Old World cooks who are wrestling with New World advice: take another look at the fat profile of lard. It has half the level of saturated fat of palm kernel oil (about 80 percent saturated fat) or coconut oil (about 85 percent) and its approximately 40 percent saturated fat is lower than butter’s nearly 60 percent. Today’s miracle, olive oil, is much lower in saturated fat, as everyone knows, but it does have some: about 13 percent. As for monounsaturated fat, the current savior, olive oil contains a saintly 74 percent, yes. But scorned lard contains a very respectable 45 percent monounsaturated fat - double butter’s paltry 23 or so percent.

But, oh, that name.

Come to think of it, perhaps all that lard really needs is a good rebranding. What if we called it…Porcina?

Waterproof publishing has arrived

August 9th, 2005

Bathtub reading, favored affectation of Zooey Glass, finally gets recognition as a for-profit venture. A small New York publisher has patented the waterproof book.

If you’re a tub reader, or if Alice Munro makes you cry, perhaps DuraBook is for you.

Don’t buy now: Save 100 percent

August 6th, 2005

If you want thousands to show up for the opening of your new big-box retail emporium, here’s what your ads should say: DON’T shop. DON’T spend.

It worked in Prague.

Related:
Zagnut bars and PBR by the can: It’s the house of misfit groceries